So while that title may sound like we have the answer to all your sleep-training woes, we really just found a solution that worked for Everett. Who knows if it will even work for our next baby, but it worked for this kiddo, and needs to be shared for posterity's sake!
After 4 weeks of waking up every 30 minutes-2 hours (in the middle of Spencer's traveling project 😑), we (I) finally decided to try some sleep training. Like everything with parenting thus far, I'd read just about everything online about sleep training, and everyone suggested waiting until 6 months to try anything and to not attempt anything in the middle of a regression. And to add to my first time mom confusion, just about everything online contradicted another theory, so I was incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed deciding what route we should take. But when it became obvious that Everett was waking up and crying in the middle of the night because he became attached to me putting him to sleep, I knew something needed to change.
At his 4 month doctor's appointment, I asked the pediatrician's recommended strategy for sleep training. She suggested a version of the Ferber method (that I was already considering) where the first night you let the baby cry for 5 minutes before you go in and comfort him without picking him up. You stick with 5 minutes for the whole night. The second night the interval is 7 minutes, the next night 10 minutes, the following 15, then 20. She said most babies don't even make it to the 20 minutes by the fourth night. She also said that he should be able to go a minimum of 4 hours at night without feeding, so if he wakes before then let him try and get back to sleep before comforting him.
I was so exhausted that I decided to start sleep training the night of his appointment. I'd wanted to put it off til a weekend when Spencer would be home and able to relieve me, but it couldn't wait.
Prior to the beginning of our sleep training, we'd implemented a bedtime routine. I truly think this has helped with Everett being able to put himself to sleep because it signals to him that it's bedtime. We didn't start as soon as some, but we'd had the routine going for about a month before taking the "rock to sleep" out of the routine. We also use white noise to help Everett sleep, and I think that also signals to him that it's time for sleep.
So the night of his appointment, I changed up the order of his routine. We did bath, feeding, book, then bed. Setting him in his bed, and knowing that he just wanted time with me was so hard, but I knew that it was the best thing for him, and for me. (And really, me getting more sleep has been better for him. I've been a much better mom during the day because I have energy.)
He cried pretty consistently the first 5 minutes, then I went in and comforted him. I kissed him, then smiled and said goodnight (apparently the smile is key because it tells the baby they are doing a good thing, that you aren't worried, and therefore they should be either). I ended up going in to comfort him 3 times before he finally started to settle. Once he was just fussing (and not full-on crying), I stopped my timer and just waited for him to fall asleep. On the first night it only took 25 minutes for him to fall asleep. I couldn't believe it. The doctor said to expect an hour+. (Another factor that I think played into our first night's success was that Everett had just gotten his 4 month shots, which can make babies sleepier than normal. So a sleepy baby + sleep training = success ?)
He slept from 6:15pm-11:45pm, then 12:00am-6am. He woke up ONCE. One time! I was so happy the next day. So happy!
It hasn't been a total breeze, but that was definitely the worst of it, and all things considered, that's really not that bad. To add to it, we'd been swaddling Everett because he had a pretty serious startle reflex, but we cut out the swaddle cold-turkey that first night of sleep training, and he did so great!
He is a whole different baby. He is sleeping deeper. He is sleeping longer. He is getting to sleep completely on his own. We are so proud of him. I also realize that this isn't the end of our sleep journey, but I definitely think the hardest part is finally behind us. Hopefully. I'll talk to you in five years. He's sure to have consistent sleep patterns by kindergarten, right?
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